Jokes thread

That joke's kinda old now....

Hey, you all know that they say that Michael Jackson's doctur killed him right? Well he is one smooth criminal. And do you know what he said whenever someone wanted to investigate? He said "Just beat it"

Sorry... I had to.

that joke came out within 10 mins of Micheal Jackson dieing on the internet

But it didn't involve plastic

Sperm is alot like lending someone less than a fiver, you can't really ask for it back...

heard it before ^^

If you're me you can

I was playing frisby once and I wondered why the frisby was getting bigger and bigger. Then suddenly, it hit me.

sounds better when spoken

You k'now something ladies? A man's c*ck is alot like a rubix cube, the longer you play with it, the haaarder it gets!

Sorry, just thought of it... Incidently, I was looking at the servant... Damn

lol

Meh...
Allwell. If only it wasnt forbidden! (joke. Or is it...?)

Ehh she's too old anyway. She is 18, I am 14... is pretty though
No matter, lets get back on topic (or was i just joking still...?) Meh

No wonder your one of the biggest posters on the forum.

haha lol funny jokes and the rubix cube one

yup! Strange where you get inspiration from aint it?

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

i dont get it

Here is another one. Should get it:
Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants flop, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

HAHAHAHA that one made me laugh! for once a joke that I found literally funny

hehehe

lol the rubix cube one....hehehehe
and that other one. ha

hehehe. I iz good. ^^