Posts : 537 Join date : 2009-09-13 Age : 29 Location : Right Behind you.
Subject: Jokes thread Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:05 am
From 1 liners to stand-up comedies,post them here!Videos containing jokes are accepted as well
Bandon V. Lucifer Kind of a Big Deal
Posts : 1491 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 29 Location : Depends on the time. Currently, I am at my desk, staring into the computer monitor...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:09 am
Oh I got one: A taxi driver just picked up a fare and is driving him to his destination when the passanger leaned over and tapped the driver on his shoulder. The driver jumped, swerved hit the front of a car, narrowly misses a bus and stops inches away from a wall. "Bloody hell, your a jumpy guy! All I did was tap you on the shoulder." Said the passenger. "Sorry, it's my first day on the job. I have been driving a hearse for the last 20 years."
GM HiHeiwa Master of Games
Posts : 537 Join date : 2009-09-13 Age : 29 Location : Right Behind you.
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:10 am
My dad told me that one yesterday.Wiiiierd....
Bandon V. Lucifer Kind of a Big Deal
Posts : 1491 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 29 Location : Depends on the time. Currently, I am at my desk, staring into the computer monitor...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:13 am
What is your dad's name? I understand if you don't want to tell me but I might know him. Please tell.
ZacofBlades Not Too Shabby
Posts : 750 Join date : 2009-11-27 Age : 27 Location : Right behind GM HiHeiwa!
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Nov 27, 2009 1:24 pm
two penuts were walking down the road. one was asalted.
Geddit?
ZigZagas Co-Founder
Posts : 1378 Join date : 2009-09-17 Location : In a castle far, far away where no one can hear you.
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:09 pm
Yes.
It's very very bad...
Darkonor263 Forretra Mapper
Posts : 420 Join date : 2009-09-24 Age : 28
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:11 pm
It's funny because the peanut is a salted one and it wasn't assaulted like attack or hit!
Aaron-auxacto Lord of the Posts
Posts : 1518 Join date : 2009-10-09 Age : 33 Location : In a bubble, underneath the ocean - I name it Shirredgi
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:22 pm
yes i get it..
duck 464 Original Member
Posts : 834 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 26 Location : where ever I want to be...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Nov 27, 2009 2:22 pm
the crowd was going wild with laughter
ZacofBlades Not Too Shabby
Posts : 750 Join date : 2009-11-27 Age : 27 Location : Right behind GM HiHeiwa!
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Nov 27, 2009 3:40 pm
Funny names from Terry Prachett novels: James what the hell is this cow doing in here poorchick, Total Biscuit Yodel lightly Moist Von Lipwig Adora Bell Dearheart Captain Carrot Corporal Nobbs Lord Vetenari Granny Weatherwax Nanny Ogg Magrat Garlick Mona Ogg Tiffany Aching Sarah Grizzle Mrs Cake Munstrum Riddicully Windle Poons
And heaps of other ones which I shall soon read all about!
Last edited by ZacofBlades on Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
Bandon V. Lucifer Kind of a Big Deal
Posts : 1491 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 29 Location : Depends on the time. Currently, I am at my desk, staring into the computer monitor...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:56 pm
A bit of a necro-post but still. Sammie the Squirrel was frozen to the spot when he realised that he buried the wrong nuts.
Darkonor263 Forretra Mapper
Posts : 420 Join date : 2009-09-24 Age : 28
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:01 pm
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
(Don't spoil it Unit, Ziggy, Heiwa or anyone who knows)
Bandon V. Lucifer Kind of a Big Deal
Posts : 1491 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 29 Location : Depends on the time. Currently, I am at my desk, staring into the computer monitor...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:12 pm
Not impressed. Do not make fun of anyone's death. It is not a good thing and it is certantly not funny. I doubt you would like it if everyone made jokes about you when you died, would you?
Darkonor263 Forretra Mapper
Posts : 420 Join date : 2009-09-24 Age : 28
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:14 pm
(I wouldn't care, I'd be dead.) It's not a joke about him dying...
Right then, One is plastic, white and it's dangerous to leave your children with them, the other you put your groceries in!
Last edited by Darkonor263 on Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:22 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Why not!)
Aaron-auxacto Lord of the Posts
Posts : 1518 Join date : 2009-10-09 Age : 33 Location : In a bubble, underneath the ocean - I name it Shirredgi
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:54 pm
hahaha! that's funny! hey bandon u should have heard of the amount of jokes that came out 10 mins after his death! it was crazy onf 4 chan and everywere. I actually remember it saying live that he died, and then looking on internet of the sudden jokes
ZacofBlades Not Too Shabby
Posts : 750 Join date : 2009-11-27 Age : 27 Location : Right behind GM HiHeiwa!
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:34 pm
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger woods can drive a golfball over 400m!
ZigZagas Co-Founder
Posts : 1378 Join date : 2009-09-17 Location : In a castle far, far away where no one can hear you.
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:25 am
About michael jackson's death: The vast majority of people are such hypocrites. Before he died; "Ewwww he *beeps* young children he's sick i hate him he should get off the tele and music biz!" After he dies: "Oh it's tragic, he was the king of pop, oh, it's so sad, lets have a national mourning day..."
F*** THAT!
duck 464 Original Member
Posts : 834 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 26 Location : where ever I want to be...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:36 am
i only liked him because he made good music. but you have a point zig
Bandon V. Lucifer Kind of a Big Deal
Posts : 1491 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 29 Location : Depends on the time. Currently, I am at my desk, staring into the computer monitor...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:01 am
True and I only liked him for the music. I just don't like people making jokes about someone's death. Alwell *Shrugs* It will never stop.
ZacofBlades Not Too Shabby
Posts : 750 Join date : 2009-11-27 Age : 27 Location : Right behind GM HiHeiwa!
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:10 pm
Only for the music. By the way I've edited my funny names from discworld post. If anyone can think of more plz tell and I'll add them
Should we have a discworld post perhaps?
Salvanar Original Member
Posts : 329 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 30 Location : The Maelbolge
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:15 pm
I think we should just have an entire thread based on the Discworld series. They were so brilliant. I think everyone here knows which on is my favourite. And I quote: "The robes, the scythe, the white horse; Death." -Susan, Terry Pratchett's The Hogfather.
ZacofBlades Not Too Shabby
Posts : 750 Join date : 2009-11-27 Age : 27 Location : Right behind GM HiHeiwa!
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:16 pm
All the books are simply amazing I'll make a thread.
duck 464 Original Member
Posts : 834 Join date : 2009-09-23 Age : 26 Location : where ever I want to be...
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:41 am
That'll be good... But I somehow hate books now. Don't know why. The only set of books I can read is Darren Shan Demonata because I can't be bothered to start a new storyline...
ZacofBlades Not Too Shabby
Posts : 750 Join date : 2009-11-27 Age : 27 Location : Right behind GM HiHeiwa!
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Sun Dec 06, 2009 12:45 am
Darren Shan Demonata! Not a fan.
ZacofBlades Not Too Shabby
Posts : 750 Join date : 2009-11-27 Age : 27 Location : Right behind GM HiHeiwa!
Subject: Re: Jokes thread Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:57 pm
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